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Parenting Archives - Chris Schuette

Crowns In Space!

April 6, 2017 | By | 2 Comments

So, Isla is on Spring Break this week, and instead of sitting around listening to Led Zeppelin III, she decided we would take a (presumably) imaginary rocket ship around the solar system.

Pictured: Scientific Accuracy

The cool thing is that she already knows the order of the planets! I’m constantly impressed with her knowledge, especially when confronted with the general dumb-assery that I provide with alarming frequency. I even asked her why we weren’t going to Pluto, and she simply stated, “Pluto’s not a planet.”

As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I looked straight at her and said, “YOU’RE not a planet!” Swish.

But the best part of the experience? She made Space Crowns™ for our journey. They’re like regular crowns…in SPACE!!

In space, no one can hear you go “awww”


That’s my girl.

Girl Group

March 9, 2016 | By | No Comments

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about my trip to the guitar store with Isla (I won’t say the name, because it’s not like I’ll get a discount on Mandolin Tuning Fluid.) I should probably give a bit of backstory.

Isla has enjoyed music her entire life. As she gets older, I’ll be interested to hear how music affects her, since she can only experience it with the help of her cochlear implants.


Remember those?

We might learn that certain instruments sound less pleasant to her ears than others. That being said, she asked for and received a guitar last Christmas. The guitar has seen better days, but she loves to strum and I’ve been teaching her how to hold it properly.  She knows the names of the parts of the guitar and she seems to understand that it should rarely be stepped upon. Considering that Patty and I had no idea if Isla would ever be able to hear, well, anything, it’s astounding that she shows such a natural love of music.

Cate also seems to have an innate love of music as she sits at the piano and deliberately plays individual keys (as opposed to simply pounding on them, like daddy) But Cate’s pride and joy is the ukulele she received for Christmas. She loves it, and she even lets me play it every once in awhile.

I should point out that Patty and I make music and musical instruments available to our girls, but we don’t make them do anything they don’t want to do. Eventually, if they’re interested, they can take lessons from a real teacher. We just want the girls to be familiar with how music is made and to simply love the experience. As the following slightly blurry photos demonstrate: so far, so good.


Isla Guitar



February 24, 2016 | By | No Comments

Well, Isla is officially a big girl now; she lost her first two teeth within days of each other.

Sadly, she will not be able to partake in my delicious jawbreaker/corn-on-the-cob casserole.

She really wants to show the tooth to her Auntie Colleen, so Patty suggested we leave a note, asking the tooth fairy to leave the tooth, but presumably cough up the cash immediately.

Pretty sure I’ll be hearing from the Tooth Fairy’s Union rep over this.

The Other Ear

November 4, 2011 | By | 14 Comments

Isla has another big day coming up. As I mentioned before, her cochlear implant for her right ear has been working out very well.  As a result, Patty and I have decided that she will have the second implant for her left ear. The surgery is scheduled for this coming Monday.

Even though we’ve been down this road before, we’re still nervous about any kind of hospital visit. This isn’t a decision we take lightly, but Isla loves being able to hear the world around her, (or at least the world to the right of her.) With the hard work of some amazing medical professionals, we’re confident that she will be able to experience so much more, such as that really boss surround sound system in the rumpus room.

Patty has been absolutely amazing through all of this. While I’ve been posting “Simpsons” clips and writing about allegedly drunken Presidential candidates, Patty did something truly special for our little girl.  There are lots of dolls out there for all types of kids; dolls with glasses, dolls with wheelchairs, but Patty was unable to find a doll with cochlear implants. So she made one.

Using only puffy paint, a doll Isla picked out at Target, and her innate MacGuyver-esque talents, Patty painstakingly applied the paint to form two little cochlear implants on the doll.  What a great mom!