Nesting?  You want nesting?  I’LL give you nesting.  Our impending future human will likely be arriving within the next month, so Patty & I have been veritable whirlwinds of activity here at Casa und Hovel de Schuette par la mer (across from the rendering plant.)  As the due date approaches, we have been finishing projects that we put off a long time ago, and starting projects that simply have to get done before the baby arrives.  As you can guess, this really cuts into my lounging and/or writing schedule.

The house is looking great, though; we have re-hung closet doors, replaced light fixtures, created (and repaired) several holes in a handful of walls. We’ve put up shelves, dusted the hell out of everything and everyone who has been inside this house.  We’ve made countless visits to Menards and Ace Hardware.  I’ve walked the dogs extra times just to tire them out.  I also trained Indie to sort tiny screws and bolts, just so she knows who’s boss around here.  We’ve painted, cleaned, painted again, cleaned again, then slept for a couple of hours each night before getting up and doing it all again.

We’ve stocked up on food and food-based ingestibles, and we’re putting a lot of pre-made meals in the freezer.  We’ve also baby-proofed, dog-proofed, cat-proofed, and Cloverfield Monster-proofed the entire joint.  If you feel like hitting your head on the corner of a coffee table in MY house, now would be the time to do it.

I even de-MC Escher-ed my organizational nightmare of a garage. You know those big pieces of pegboard that people put in their garages and then hang stuff from? Well, I gots ‘em!   I’ll have a whole lotta challenges with the new baby, but you better believe I can find a screwdriver when I need one!  Anything that was on the floor is on a wall or in the garbage!  Anything that was in the garbage is in the yard! (what are you, a cop?)

In addition to making the house awesomely radical and funky fresh, we also attended three (count ‘em,) three birthing classes.  I learned a ton (mostly that I can apparently watch anything on a television screen.)

Despite all of this preparation, I still have to admit that I’m nervous.  No one looks forward to seeing a loved one go through a difficult process.  I know that Patty is strong enough to do great; I can only hope that I am too.

Either way, I’ll be right there with her.

So, Patty & I put together our baby stroller last night.  So much swearing…so many tourniquets.  OK, it wasn’t really that difficult.  Since this wasn’t a plumbing project, I decided to actually follow the non-French instructions and not rely so much on towels, wide-eyed horror and blind rage.  Believe it or not, the stroller looks great and is sturdy as All Get-Out.  (“All Get-Out” is the name of that ladder I built last year out of popsicle sticks and bungee cords.) 

(Patty suggested I actually include something informative in this post, so I will tell you that the stroller we bought is a Chicco Cortina Keyfit 30 Travel system.  We found it on Amazon for a reasonable price and it has received great reviews.  I can only assume that it’s Brangelina-Approved.)

Patty & I also felt the baby move for the first time.  Unbelievable.  Now, if I were a great writer, I would tell you what a profoundly life-changing experience that was and how I have never felt so fortunate to be married to such an amazing woman.  I would also mention that I am humbled and excited by what the future will bring.  Alas, I’m not a great writer, so I’ll simply tell you that it was “really swell.”  Patty said it felt like butterflies, but I thought it felt more like Jiffy-Pop popcorn;  I’m not allowed to say stuff anymore.  Patty also seems to be enjoying herself more now that the morning sickness has passed.  Seriously, the first trimester was little rough for her, what with all the non-Jagermeister-related vomiting, and all. 

In other Calendarical news, today is the last day of the year (and possibly the decade, depending on how you look at it.)  I can’t lie, but 2009 has been one of those years that I’m not sorry to see go.  Too many things went wrong for me to fondly look back on it without some serious muttering and creative hand gestures.  OK, Vegas was cool, but that was it!  With a baby on the way, 2010 will see a lot of big changes for me and Patty, but honestly, I can’t wait.

Happy New Year!