Walked in the door last night and saw this thing:
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Patty brought it home as a toy for Indie & Bear. Oh, and it sounds like this:
You know, I work long days as a night watchman at the Minnesota Video Cassette Depository (Beta Division 3) and this is probably the last thing I need to hear and/or see when I walk through the door. On the other hand, Indie & Bear are even more freaked out by the sound than I am, so that’s kinda cool to watch. We don’t actually let them play with the toy, because we’d like it to survive for more than 10 seconds. Plus, like most of us, Bear has problems passing squeakers. We’re looking into it.
Patty has named this little scamp “Godzilla.” I gently pointed out that Godzilla was actually a large lizard-like creature, whereas this toy appears to be a representation of some type of monkey. I was quickly educated as to the irrelevance of these kinds of distinctions. I also concluded that a lot of my “helpful information” is neither “helpful,” nor is it “information;” The little guy is named “Godzilla,” and Godzilla help you if you suggest otherwise. Got it?
Damn right you do.
OK, so it’s cold here in Minnesota. Really cold. It’s the kind of cold weather that people think we always have up here in Paradise. (We call it “Pants Weather.”) As a result of this extreme Butt-Coldness, our dogs, Indie & Bear are bored. Really bored. Like, “Kevin Costner Movie” bored.
I’ve never played Monopoly. Yeah, you heard me; in my whole life, I’ve never played Monopoly. That wouldn’t be a weird thing to admit if I wasn’t turning 37 in a few weeks. That means if you’ve ever heard me laugh at some Monopoly-related pop culture reference, it was an outright lie; I don’t know what the hell I’m laughing at. Who’s Rich Uncle Pennybags, or whatever his name is? Where’s Baltic Avenue and why should I care? Why do I have to go directly to jail? (Never thought I’d have to ask THAT again!) And why would anyone want to be the thimble? 
