Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

Impending Future Human

December 23, 2009 | By | No Comments

In the past, I made references to “Hypothetical Future Baby.”  Well, the future just got a lot less hypothetical.  Patty & I are excited to announce that we are expecting our first child, due June 1, 2010.  That’s actually the main reason that I haven’t written anything lately (well that and crippling laziness.)  After the events of 2009, Patty & I were understandably more nervous about this pregnancy, but we feel the time is right to make it known.  Since we don’t yet know the sex of the baby, we’ve agreed to refer to it as “Impending Future Human.”  Well, at least I have.

I’ll finally be able to use all of those skills I learned in the Child Care portion of my Home Economics course…in Junior High…at age 15…in 1985…24 years ago…while drunk.  On second thought, I might want to get a book, or something.  Do people still have other people change diapers in order to get a passing grade?  (Before you ask: No, that is NOT the stupidest question I’ve ever asked.)

Our preparations for Impending Future Human so far involve some essential purchases and a lot of oblivious excitement. I’ve also started hiding anything explosive expensive.  I probably better learn how to play some children’s songs too.  Does Led Zeppelin count as “children’s music?”  It’d better.

I’m well aware of the fact that I have no REAL idea what’s about to happen and how much our lives are going to change; but I know I’ll handle it with the same kind of class and dignity that people have come to expect from me.

Nah, just kidding.  Seriously, I’m scared to death.

Submit a Comment