So, I took one of those online nerd quizzes…you know, to prove that I’m NOT one. OK, you got me: Certain people occasionally refer to me as a “nerd.” No, my wife is not one of them; she’s kind enough to properly refer to me as a “geek.” I like to think there is a distinction (hey, I like to think a lot of things.) The term “nerd” implies that a person has no social skills and ate paste as a kid. Oh, I GOTS the social skills. I have bucketloads of social skills. Just watch me the next time you meet me. See? Social skills all over the damn place.
“Geeks,” although apparently a little defensive, simply have an unnatural focus on specific disciplines. I’m more of a “Music, History, Computer” Geek. If I would actually start paying attention to grammar, you could even call me a “writing geek” (don’t hold your breath.) Those who call me a “Smelly Geek” do not get fruit cup. You see what I did there? “…do not get fruit cup” is a line from the Mel Brooks movie, High Anxiety, so I’m also a “movie-quote geek,” too, I guess. (How I ever got married, I’ll NEVER know.) Incidentally, I smell fine…like clean laundry, even.
Admittedly, I’m probably more of a “music geek” than anything. I grew up in a musical household, I’ve been playing piano since I was a li’l tow-headed demon boy, and my Dad was Irving Berlin. (Uh, that last one is a lie, by the way.) So, I’ve been paying attention to music my whole life; but no matter how much I learn, I’m always more interested in what I don’t know yet. As a result, I’m probably doomed to be a “music geek” for the rest of my life. Which is fine, but you should feel a little sorry for my wife (everyone does…I’m cool with it.)
Well, anyway, back to the nerd quiz. I took the quiz and did pretty well. You can see my results here.

Geez, with scores like that, you’d think I’d be employable. Apparently, I qualify as a “Cool Nerd King,” which incidentally was also my nickname in high school, except for the “cool” and “king” parts. I’m very pleased and horrified by the results. It was either this, or actually HAVE a social life growing up. Well, at least I wasn’t wasting time playing Monopoly.
Oh, and I never ate paste. Only Elmer’s Glue for this geek. Peace!
